What is grief therapy

Grief therapy has many benefits and can help you navigate one of the hardest parts of your life. It can help you grow stronger even as you face devastating loss. While grief therapy can help anyone, it is especially important for those with complicated grief, traumatic grief, overwhelmingly intense grief, grief that lasts more than a year, interferes with daily activities, causes feelings of guilt or depression, and/or strains current relationships. If trauma is involved, a therapist can help you work through the effects of trauma while you grieve. Ultimately, grief therapy can give you the space, time, and permission to grieve.

There is no right way to grieve. There is no wrong way to grieve. The hope is that when you experience grief you can take some small comfort in knowing that however you’re feeling is okay. Utilizing therapy can have a positive impact on the physical, behavioral, emotional, mental, and spiritual symptoms of your grief.

To learn more about grief specifically, read this article.

What is the goal of grief therapy?

The goal of grief therapy is to help a bereaved person manage their grief and live a fulfilling life.

What are the different types of grief therapy?

Grief therapy is usually held in either a group or private setting.

What questions should I ask a therapist when considering therapy?

It's important that you feel comfortable with a therapist before committing to therapy as you will need to share intimate details about yourself throughout your sessions. Therefore when seeking therapy, people may speak to many therapists before they find someone they are comfortable with. Many therapists will offer a complimentary consult call to debrief on what is bringing you to therapy and decide if it's a good fit. This is a great time to ask them questions and feel them out. Examples of questions to ask include:

• What treatment approach do you use?

  • If you want to learn about the different types of approaches to therapy treatment, read this article.

• What experience do you have treating patients with grief?

• What is your specialty?

• What can I expect being in therapy with you?

  • For example, some therapists may give you "homework" to do in between sessions while others may not.

• Do you offer virtual and in-person therapy?

• How often do you think we will need to meet?

• Do you accept my insurance? How much will I owe for each session?

Should everyone seek grief therapy after the loss of a loved one?

Grief therapy can be helpful to anyone who has experienced a loss, however it is especially important for those with complicated grief, traumatic grief, overwhelmingly intense grief, grief that lasts more than a year, interferes with daily activities, causes feelings of guilt or depression, and/or strains current relationships to seek professional help.

Does grief get better with time?

As we integrate our old life with our new life, we may be constantly reminded of our loved one and experience emotions that prevent us from being able to perform some or all of the tasks in our daily life. The grief we experience immediately after a loss is known as "acute grief" and it is usually when we will feel the most intense emotions. As time passes, the intense, sad emotions that typically come in waves are spread further apart. This leads to what is known as "integrated grief", which is when the reality and meaning of the loss are assimilated with our new life and we can engage once again in satisfying relationships and activities.

The process from acute to integrated grief may not be so straightforward for everyone and can be depend on whether your response to grief is "complicated" or "uncomplicated".

What is uncomplicated grief?

During the transition from acute to integrated grief, usually beginning within the first few months of the death, the wounds begin to heal and the bereaved person finds their way back to a fulfilling life. The reality and meaning of the death are assimilated and the bereaved can engage once again in pleasurable and satisfying relationships and activities. Even though the grief has been integrated, they do not forget the people they lost, relinquish their sadness nor do they stop missing their loved ones. The loss becomes integrated into autobiographical memory and the thoughts and memories of the deceased are no longer preoccupying or disabling. Unlike acute grief, integrated grief does not persistently preoccupy the mind or disrupt other activities. However, there may be periods when the acute grief reawakens. This can occur around the time of significant events, such as holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, another loss, or a particularly stressful time.

What is complicated grief?

Complicated grief includes grief that feels so intense and debilitating that it’s challenging to function in daily life, even after the early period of the loss. Characteristically, individuals experiencing complicated grief have difficulty accepting the death, and the intense separation and traumatic distress may last well beyond six months. Bereaved individuals with complicated grief find themselves in a repetitive loop of intense yearning and longing that becomes the major focus of their lives, albeit accompanied by inevitable sadness, frustration, and anxiety. Complicated grievers may implement maladaptive behaviors to cope. This can consist of over-involvement in activities related to the deceased, on the one hand, and excessive avoidance on the other. Preoccupation with the deceased may include daydreaming, sitting at the cemetery, or rearranging belongings. At the same time, the bereaved person may avoid activities and situations that remind them that the loved one is gone, or of the good times they spent with them. Frequently, people with complicated grief feel estranged from others, including people that used to be close.

Complicated grief is associated with significant distress, impairment, and negative health consequences. Studies have documented chronic sleep disturbance and disruption in daily routine. People with complicated grief have been found to be at increased risk for cancer, cardiac disease, hypertension, substance abuse, and suicidality. Complicated grief must be taken seriously and treated appropriately.

What is the difference in complicated and uncomplicated grief?

While complicated grief is persistent and debilitating to functioning, uncomplicated grief tends to be tolerable and self-limited. Research suggests that most bereaved people will cope with the pain of an uncomplicated grief response without professional help, and that over time, they will naturally begin to feel better.

What's the difference between grief and depression?

Grief and depression can sometimes look a lot alike. Grief and depression can coexist, and you may develop grief related depression following prolonged grief. However, grief is the result of loss and the intensity of it does tend to decrease over time. Grief is a complex experience in which positive emotions are experienced alongside negative ones. As time passes, the intense, sad emotions that typically come in waves are spread further apart. Typically, these waves of emotions occur when we are reminded of our loved one.

Alternatively, depression involves a general sense of apathy, feelings of worthlessness, lack of joy and it tends to be more persistent and pervasive in nature than grief. It is characterized as having significant difficulty in experiencing self-validating and positive feelings.

Untreated depression after bereavement carries the extra burden of prolonging the pain and suffering associated with grief. Societally, we tend to misattribute and normalize bereavement symptoms, leaving vulnerable grieving individuals exposed to the burden of untreated depression and the stressful demands of coping with their recent loss.

What types of therapist should I seek for grief therapy?

While there are many different types of therapy and therapists, psychotherapy is the most common type of therapy for treating grief as Psychotherapists have specialized training and licensures in treating mental health.

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